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10:22 P.M.
21st October, 2002
Auburn, Indiana
 
Remember the last entry when I said that I had crippling shyness? Well, unfortunately, it struck again last night. I went out with that girl I had mentioned I liked, Melanie, and her friends to the Haunted Castle. Her mom lives right down the road from it, so after driving to her house, we all walked from her addition to the haunted house. It’s bad enough trying to be myself and talk to her, let alone when it is her and all of her friends who already known each other having fun. I was nervous most of the night, and hardly said much of anything to anyone besides her. And the Haunted Castle was the same as it has been since I was a little kid, so that was kind of waste of time too. But at least at the end of the night, she and I got to talk a little bit by my car. She gave me a hug before I left, which was nice. Hopefully she doesn’t hold the fact that I’m shy against me too much, I’m better than I use to be at least.

I guess it doesn’t really matter much anyway, since I’ll be leaving next year and it would be doubtful that I’d even see her again after that. I guess the last thing that I’d really want would be to start my first official relationship and then have to end it so soon after it began. But in the meantime, it is still fun to be interested in someone and the prospect of them liking me back is different and exciting. And regardless of what actually happens between us, the fact that I have someone to talk to and hang out with has been great. She comes in to visit me at work sometimes, like I mentioned, and we’ll spend an hour just talking about whatever as I stock the produce. It really makes the time fly by, and you can’t really go wrong getting paid to flirt with a cute girl, right?

Speaking of work, they have really been cutting my hours back ever since school started; I work about three or four hours a day at the most. In the summer time, I was working five to six days and working eight hour days. My assistant manager already warned me that once the college semester ends, they are going to be getting back a few college girls part time. I took that as me losing even more hours than I already have. Maybe I should try and find something else to do for the last ten months or so I have left of being a civilian. It would probably be better than barely working and only making enough extra money to pay for the gas it takes to drive to school and to work. It has only been three months and I already want to leave for basic training. I don’t know how I’m going to put up with all this until June. I am not looking forward to it; that much I know.

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