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A Touch of Void

2/10/2018

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Picture
I feel myself drifting along this empty space.

How did I get here? Where did I go? You were here with me, once before. I remember. I was holding your hand; I remember how soft it was…how warm it was. I remember now; how much just the touch of your body radiated warmth throughout the entirety of my being.

I need that now more than ever.

I’m so cold, but I don’t know why. Please, where did I go? Where did you go?

It’s been just a moment now, and already I feel as though I’m further away than ever before. It doesn’t seem like I’m moving; or maybe I’m moving so quickly I don’t even realize it? I just don’t know anymore. I can barely see and it’s all just a blur. I’ve got my eyes shut so hard that tears are forming. I keep them closed because it’s the only way I can still see your face.

​I don’t want to lose that image of you; suddenly I’m afraid that I’ll never see it again.

Why? I never worried about that before because I knew you were always by my side.

But the thought of just losing the memory of you frightens me now. Please, where am I?

As I float across this empty plain, frozen to the core, the thought of you is all I have. And it is that which I fear losing more than anything else.

With eyes still closed, I imagine the things that drew me to you in the first place. The brilliance of your smile, the colors that would erupt from your personality alone, the passion that burned inside of you for the things you love. The very core of you that warms all that is lucky enough to be near you.

Even just the way you move draws them near and it is that which I miss the most about you.

Where did you go? Where did I go? Why am I so cold and why are you not here with me still?

These constant flowing streams of colors and lights are blinding me even as my eyes are closed. They rush through me like waves of torment as a reminder of the things I’m leaving behind. I don’t want to leave you behind but how can I stop myself when I can’t reach hold of anything at such great speeds?

Maybe I’ll just put out my hand and hope that somehow, someway it manages to find your own one final time.

​And if we do somehow find each other again in this desolate void, I’m sorry if my hand is so cold.

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